


Drunken Confessions

by SekiaSweet



Series: Anchored to the Past [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anxiety, Awkward Sexual Situations, Best Friends, Chess, Date Night, Drinking & Talking, Drunken Confessions, F/M, Go Easy On Me, Gossip, Kissing, Lord take the wheel, Sleeping Together, There's no beta., Truth, feeling brave...and drunk, never wrote a fanfic, will add tags as needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:40:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27869317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SekiaSweet/pseuds/SekiaSweet
Summary: Corypheus is dead. Solas is gone. Briseis Lavellan gets an unexpected confession from a certain Commander
Relationships: Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Female Inquisitor/Solas (Dragon Age), Female Lavellan & Dorian Pavus, Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford, Female Lavellan/Solas
Series: Anchored to the Past [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040350
Comments: 9
Kudos: 32





	1. Drunken Confessions

The Inquisitor had been deep in her cups for a while when Cullen approached her. Iron Bull had challenged _**everyone** _to a drinking contest midway through the celebration. The Inquisitor had proven to have a much higher tolerance for drinking than anyone expected, least of all the Tal-Vashoth who challenged her. And while the Iron Bull now happened to be snoring on the bottom floor of the tavern, she'd found a quiet corner and continued to drink upstairs, Antivan brandy no less. But Briseis Lavellan never ceased to amaze everyone around her. _E_ _specially me,_ thought Cullen.

As he slid into the chair across from her, Cullen noticed that she seemed to be deliberately keeping her head down and that her wavy, onyx tresses were bobbing erratically. He could see why.

The bottle of brandy was completely empty.

He brushed a strand of hair away to get a look at her face. His brow furrowed with concern and amusement. “Maker, you're completely sotted,” he exclaimed with a grin.

The Dalish mage glanced at him and nodded slowly. The room was bright to her, despite how dimly lit it was inside the Herald's Rest. He could tell that it was a chore for her to even raise her head right now. “Shh,” Briseis whispered, putting a finger to her plump lips. Her hazel-green eyes squinted at him as she ran her slender fingers through her hair. “Yes, I'm quite drunk. It has been a very long night and I'm starting to think it's time I retired to my quarters.”

He stared at her questioningly. “Can you make it that far?” he asked.

“It's not THAT far,” she replied stubbornly, her speech slurring as she slid her chair back and attempted to rise from her seat. “Just across the courtyard, up into the great hall, the door on the immediate left of the thr– whoops...” He quickly stood to catch her as she lost her balance after losing her grip on the back of the chair. When her knees buckled again, he swept her into his arms. “Alright, Lady Inquisitor,” Cullen said pointedly, “I think you've had enough for one night.”

“I'm not sure there will ever be enough,” she muttered as she yielded and locked her arms around his neck.

He stared down into the glazed over hazel-green eyes as they fluttered shut and knew exactly what she meant. Solas, the Inquisitor's ex-lover, had not been seen since the final battle against Corypheus days ago. Upon her return from the Temple of Sacred Ashes earlier that night, Leliana had informed Briseis she already had agents looking for Solas everywhere, but Cullen doubted that they would find him. Not that Cullen really wanted him to be found anyway. Solas had broken the Inquisitor's heart a couple of months ago and now he had completely abandoned her and the Inquisition without so much as an explanation. But the missing elf wasn't Cullen's immediate concern, Briseis was; he needed to take care of her. She would be exhausted and extremely hungover in the morning, but she had more than earned the right to take the next day or two off to recover.

Cullen started down the stairs, trying to maintain his balance while cradling the Inquisitor in his arms. He was grateful for her small frame and that she wasn't wearing armor, as it made for much easier carrying than it would for say, Cassandra. The Seeker, soon to be named the next Divine, was seated by the door, talking with Varric. Amusing to Cullen, considering the circumstances under which Cassandra had met the dwarf. He'd been her prisoner before the explosion at the Conclave when the Seeker had been looking for the Champion of Kirkwall.

“Is her Inquisitorialness done, Curly?” Varric asked jokingly. “She looks like she had a great night,” he laughed as he held the door open for Cullen.

“Tomorrow morning may not be so great for her,” Cullen replied. “I'm going to take her back to her quarters so she can sleep it off.”

“Do you need help, Commander?” Cassandra asked as he walked past her.

“No, thank you. I can manage, but feel free to check on her later,” he answered as he stepped out into the night.

An icy wind was blowing through the grounds of Skyhold as Cullen made his way up the stone steps towards the entrance to the main hall. Briseis let out a sigh of relief at the feel of the wind against her caramel cheeks, but she still buried her face deeper into the fur of his cloak, relaxed by his earthy scent. “The air feels nice,” she murmured, her face close enough to his that he can feel her breath, warm and spicy from the Antivan brandy, graze across his lips. Her eyes opened slightly. “But it's so quiet out here,” she commented.

Aside from the continued celebrations inside the tavern, the Commander noticed that much of Skyhold was quiet considering the late hour. Cullen observed the guards continuing their patrols, although they seemed to be more at ease following the Inquisition's victory. He made a mental note to remind the troops later that while the ancient magister had indeed been defeated, the guards still needed to remain vigilant. But he knew this victory – _her_ victory - was to be savored and their vigilance could wait at least until tomorrow, as the Inquisitor was currently in his care. Securing his grasp on the Briseis's lithe frame, he continued up into the great hall and through the door leading to her quarters.

Cullen had not set foot inside her chambers in months. As he stepped into the corridor leading to her bedroom, he recalled the time they had spent together before she had chosen Solas, when Cullen hoped he'd had a chance to earn her love. He thought of chess games and kisses on the battlements and all that would have come afterwards but for Rift mage who had stolen the Inquisitor's heart. Cullen respected Briseis and had accepted her decision, but he would still occasionally find himself agonizing over what could have been each time he saw the two elves stealing glances at each other or heading towards Solas's quarters.

But then she had also been Cullen's greatest strength while he endured the worst of his lyrium withdrawal. She had refused to let him give up on his recovery and she had carried him through the worst of his symptoms, despite having chosen another. Knowing that she still cared for him that much had earned her his deep affection and she had become one of his most cherished friends.

But she had been different since her trip to Crestwood with Solas. When they departed, she was happily in love, her _vallaslin_ still intact. He was even happy for her, or at least he pretended to be. But then Solas had returned ahead of her alone and would speak nothing of what happened between them or where she was. When Briseis finally did return several days later, she was devastated, barefaced and confused. It was clear he had not harmed her physically and she said as much when asked, but Solas had definitely broken something within her. She was a bit colder at times and to cope with her feelings, she'd completely thrown herself into finally ending the threat Corypheus posed to Thedas. But with ancient darkspawn dead, Cullen knew that Solas now weighed as heavily on her mind as the ales and Antivan brandy weighed on her body.

Once inside her room, he gently sat her on the edge her bed and poured her a cup of water. “How are you feeling now?” he asked as he handed the cup to her and proceeded to unlace her boots that she'd begun fumbling with. She took a drink and shook her head slowly, her hair tumbling into her face.

“Truthfully, I'm exhausted and feel like I could sleep for days, but at least the room isn't spinning as much as it did inside the tavern,” she replied and looked over at him as he glanced up at her. Realizing that she knew that wasn't what he meant, Briseis sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Emotionally, I'm a wreck and I don't know what to think or feel. The threat of Corypheus is over, but now what? What do _I_ do? And what about Solas? He just disappeared right after the battle and I'm left with more questions than answers about why. I should be celebrating, but I'm left feeling like a complete idiot. And I'm really, really drunk,” she sighed as she slowly lifted her head again and set the cup on the table next to her bed.

Cullen pulled off her boots and then looked up at her, rubbing the back of his neck. Her eyes were still glazed and her head was wobbly, but she seemed to be concentrating on trying not to immediately pass out. He didn't really know what to say to her except, “Briseis, you have led the Inquisition to victory despite all the odds stacked against us from the beginning. You survived the Conclave and Haven, the Winter Palace and the Grand Game, physically being in the Fade twice, Iron Bull and Antivan brandy, time travel and a host of other things that would have broken most people. But a broken heart is not easy to mend. But I promise that you won't ever be alone because I'm-we're all here for you. As for the rest, we'll work it out.”

She smiled slightly and hugged him, more like she dumped her arms around his neck and plopped her head down on his shoulder.“Thank you, Cullen. That means a lot.” He hugged her back, smiled and then stood up. “Now lie down and sleep. You're going to be very hung over tomorrow,” he said, putting her legs up onto the bed and then turning to leave.

He'd gotten halfway to the door, when he heard her say, “Cullen, wait.” He returned to her side, surprised by her words as she said, “please don't leave me alone,” she said softly. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

He nodded and removed his cloak and armor, setting them on a nearby chair, followed by his boots, which he situated on the floor nearby and then laid down next to her. He brushed a loose lock of dark wavy hair away from her face and draped his arm cautiously across her waist. “Is this okay?” he asked her. She responded by taking his hand in hers and moments later, he felt her breathing deepen with sleep as he began to drift off.

By the time Cassandra made it up to the Inquisitor's quarters to check on her an hour later with Varric in tow, Briseis and Cullen were both sound asleep. Seeing that the pair were in a deep slumber and most notably fully clothed, the dwarf and the Seeker looked at each other, then silently turned around and exited the chamber.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

When Briseis's eyes groggily opened late the next morning, her head was pounding and the sun blasting in from the balcony was threatening to blind her. Her stomach was in knots, but not like she wanted to vomit, at least not yet. _That's definitely the last time I have a drinking contest with Bull,_ she swore.

Briseis tried to sit up, thinking of a bath, breakfast, a whole lot of coffee and a lot less sunlight, but then realized she was still fully clothed and definitely not alone in her bed. There was a large arm gently draped around her right shoulder. Her right hand, she noticed while flexing her fingers, was being lovingly held to the chest of none other than Cullen in his calloused, but comforting hand. Briseis looked up at his sleeping face and golden curls glinting in the sunlight and grinned as she felt the steady beating of his heart. He looked to be sleeping peacefully, not wearing a tortured expression like he did when she would watch over him while he was struggling through the worst nights of his withdrawal. She remembered parts of the night before: him carrying her out of the tavern, helping her with her boots, letting her vent her frustrations.

And then he had stayed with her through the night when she really didn't want to be alone. She thought back to him pulling her out of the snow after she escaped Corypheus and his dragon in Haven, the scent of elderflower and oakmoss tethering her to the waking world when her body wanted to just shut down. Cullen seemed to always take care of her when she needed him, but she knew he had been hurt when she'd chosen Solas over him.

And what did she get out of it? A broken heart. And for what seemed like the millionth time in months, she felt the fool. She sighed. _I really should have chosen him_ she thought to herself, _but is it even possible that he would... still...?_

She sought to slip her hand away and sit up in the bed, but he instinctively seemed to hold her hand tighter to his chest, as if he were resisting any force attempting to compel him to release her. She glanced at him again, thinking he was awake, but noticed that his eyes were still closed.

“Cullen? Cullen, wake up,” she said softly as she shook him gently, trying to wake him up.

“I love you, Briseis,” she heard Cullen whisper in his sleep.

Before she could react to his sleep-induced confession, Briseis heard the door in the hallway slam open and slightly hurried footsteps coming closer. She rubbed at his sternum this time. “Cullen!” she repeated.

He opened his golden eyes at her and rolled towards her after the second attempt to rouse him. She suddenly realized that he was extremely close to her her face, close enough for him to kiss her. He quickly recognized her, saying “Briseis, what..?” but it was already too late.

The door to her bedroom slammed open. He looked past her and saw a well dressed Tevinter mage and the Inquisition's Ambassador emerging up the staircase. Josephine spoke first. “Inquisitor, we thought you could do with some breakfast,” she said, taking in the current scene. “I had blueberry tarts made for you to celebrate your victory.”

“ _ **Both** _of you could do with breakfast,” quipped Dorian, wearing a smirk on his face as Briseis's serving girl Lydia brushed past him with a tray laden with coffee, pastries, and fruit. “While you both still **_look_ **like last night, Briseis earned herself a good breakfast after drinking Bull under the table. We thought the two of you would be hungry after your alleged tryst, but I see that the gossip currently flying about Skyhold was grossly exaggerated. I confess myself disappointed” added Briseis's well-mustachioed confidant.

Heat rose to Briseis's cheeks as she glanced over at Cullen as he sat up. Gossip was known to spread quickly through Skyhold. She wasn't sure if Cullen knew what he'd uttered in his sleep before the intrusion, but she could see that the color had risen quickly to his face at Dorian's observation. “I simply returned the Inquisitor to her chambers safely,” he said coldly. “We fell asleep, but I don't see how that's anyone's business.”

Dorian guffawed while twirling his perfectly curved mustache. “Commander, it became everyone's business after you were seen carrying her through the great hall as though she were your bride. While most were asleep or in the tavern still celebrating at that hour, you must remember that there are still eyes everywhere.” He grinned mischievously. “Best prepare yourselves. The rumor that Cullen is the Inquisitor's new paramour has likely already spread to Val Royeaux, much to the nobility's chagrin,” he said.

Cullen glared into the grey eyes of the Tevinter, before turning his attentions to Josephine as he crossed the room to the chair holding his armor and cloak. “What of this morning's council meeting?” he asked.

“It was postponed after we discovered that the two of you were er, indisposed,” she replied. “It can convene as soon as you are available to attend.” She glanced to Briseis. “Inquisitor, will you be there?” she asked.

“Yes,” Briseis replied as Cullen answered, “no.” He looked over at her as he laced up his boots and righted his disheveled clothes. “There's really no need for you to attend today. You should rest, you had quite a lot to drink last night. Have your breakfast with Dorian and I'll check in on you later. Take the day off; we will come to you if we need you for anything important.” He knew she wanted to distract herself with Inquisition affairs, but he also knew she needed the break. Cullen had expected her to protest, so he was surprised when she nodded in reluctant agreement.

“He needs you plenty,” Dorian said under his breath lasciviously, but Briseis had heard him and scowled at him despite the heat still in her cheeks. He began to behave when he saw her glaring at him. “No coffee then, Commander?” he asked as Cullen strode past him through the doorway with Josephine at his heels.

Cullen and Josephine were barely out the door and down the corridor, before Cullen heard Dorian beginning to tease the Inquisitor. “My darling Inquisitor!!!” he was saying. “How did you manage to get through the night _without_ ripping his clothes off?”

“Dorian!” she said, voice exasperated. While he had quickly become her closest confidant in the Inquisition, he really could try her patience sometimes. She sighed, “Ugh. Please close the drapes. My head feels like it'll explode sometime around when I go blind from the sun.” He laughed, but adhered to her request and sat on the nearby sofa.

“Just teasing, my dear,” he said defensively, watching her pour them each a cup of coffee. “Seriously, after saving all of Thedas, I feel like you've earned the right to be somewhat selfish and maybe even a bit naughty. And let's face it, Cullen's very good looking. But as it stands, you get to talk to your friend Dorian for as long as you like. Bull is still out cold after your little drinking contest and I felt like you're the one who really needed my attention right now.”

She handed him a cup and sipped from hers, gratefully inhaling the coffee's scent as it awakened the rest of her senses. “So how bad is the gossip, really?” she asked, sitting next to him. Dorian smiled over his cup. “Some say your relationship with the Commander reached its... climax last night, although your Inner Circle knows that nothing happened.” Dorian took her free hand in his, looking at her intently. “But tell me true. What did happen between you and Cullen last night?” he asked.

As Briseis and Dorian worked their way through the breakfast tray, she recalled all the events of the previous night as best she could while trying to sober up. Dorian seemed quite entertained when she told him how Cullen had caught and gathered her up into his arms before carrying her out the Herald's Rest, even more when she told him that she'd fallen asleep in the Commander's arms. But he had stopped mid-sip when she got to the part where Cullen confessed his love for her while sleeping just before Dorian entered with Josephine. “My dear,” he said seriously while placing his cup down on the tray, “you have another fine mess on your hands.” He removed the blueberry tart from her hand and met her hazel-green eyes with his grey ones. “You recently had your heart broken and now your ex-lover has disappeared without a trace. We all knew how Cullen still feels about you already, as I'm sure you probably did, but now you can't hide from it anymore. And have you actually confronted your feelings about your relationship with Solas and how it ended? Do you even think you're really ready to love another?”

She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed before looking at the Tevinter. “Honestly I don't know,” she confessed aloud. She frowned at the remaining tart and lost her appetite for anything except her coffee. She looked back at Dorian. “My relationship with Solas was complicated. In all the time we spent together in the waking world and in the Fade, while it was intimate, it was never in the way that I wanted.”

Dorian choked on his coffee at her revelation and looked at her in disbelief. “Bullshit! You mean,” he began, “i- in the whole time you and Solas were together, you never – did it?! In the Fade or the waking world?! No sex?!” he exclaimed incredulously.

“Never,” she responded flatly. “In fact, I had thought he wanted to when we left for Crestwood, but once we got there, he started talking about my _vallaslin_ like he was moving to a safer subject. The next thing I knew, I had let him remove it from my face and then he'd broken up with me,” she recalled with an edge to her voice.

She had told Dorian about some of what happened between her and Solas in Crestwood, but she'd never told him that she thought the trip would lead to their relationship being consummated. “How could he not have sex with you?! Is he daft? Andraste's tits, if I were interested in women, neither he nor Cullen would have stood a chance!” Dorian exclaimed as she laughed. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and squeezed tenderly. “I'm sorry, my sweet Inquisitor. Solas is a fool to have let you go, but he really was quite the ass. Have I told you that I wanted to punch him when he seemed to mourn the orb Corypheus possessed more than he did the thought of leaving you?”

“More than once on the way back here,” Briseis said. “And while I still have some unresolved issues, I don't want to see Solas harmed. At least not until my questions about the nature of our relationship are answered and he can explain some other things that have been bothering me,” she said seriously.

“Other things? What's really on your mind, my inquisitive Inquisitor?” Dorian asked.

Briseis stood up and stared at the flames in her fireplace and began pacing. “Well it's like you said. Solas seems to have _**mourned**_ the loss of the orb as though it was more than just a magical artifact. Why? Then there were his concerns about me drinking from the Well of Sorrows? I mean, everyone had reservations about it and while I ultimately let Morrigan drink, he seemed to be seriously nervous about my being the one to do so, like I'd learn something he didn't want me to know. And, while it's prudent to keep my private affairs private, he seemed to want to keep it **really** private to the extent that he objected to my talking to you about our relationship.” Dorian scoffed as she went on, “I just feel like there's more going on here than we realize and that my relationship with Solas unexpectedly got in the way of whatever it is.”

She paused and turned to look at her fellow mage and sighed, “As for things with Cullen, I know I was an idiot for not choosing him. I really do care about him, but I don't want him to feel like second place. He deserves better. And now I know how he feels about me, whether or not he wants me to, but I'm not sure how to proceed.”

Dorian groaned as he finished his cup of coffee and got to his feet next to her. He clapped a hand against her shoulder and leaned in close. “You, darling, have some issues to work out. I don't envy you. Nor do I envy the fact that, as much as I adore you,” he sniffed, “you look and _**smell** _like last night. I think some time in a bath would help you. And while you bathe, I'll see if I can rein in some of this gossip for your sake. It'd almost be worth it for me to fail if only for the Commander's blushing.”

He grinned mischievously at her as she laughed and then stood and headed towards the door, but paused and looked over his shoulder. “I'll send Lydia in to collect the tray and prepare a bath for you,” he said. “And don't worry, I'll keep your secrets like always. Just get cleaned up. Our illustrious Commander did promise that he'd check on you later.” And then he headed out the door. What the Tevinter didn't tell Briseis was that he would be paying a visit to Cullen once he'd enlisted some help from their other companions. He liked the Commander better anyway, and she'd been through enough heartache. Dorian just wanted to be sure she wasn't headed for more on the Commander's part. But she needed to be kept preoccupied for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout-out to SheWolfe for the pointers and helping me feel brave enough to post the ramblings of my over-active imagination.


	2. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian has questions, Cullen has questions, Briseis has questions...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just moved the second work here. I'd actually published this a couple days ago.

Cullen spent most of the day bogged down with debriefings and reports while trying not to think about how close he'd been to kissing the Inquisitor before Dorian and Josephine walked in. And judging from the smirks that had been thrown in his direction most of the day, the fact that he'd spent the night with the Inquisitor was already all over Skyhold. He was just dismissing a group of officers from a meeting in the late afternoon when he looked up to see Dorian leaning against the wall at the back of his office.

Cullen looked to the mage once the room was completely cleared. “The Inquisitor?” he asked.

“Still extremely hung over and getting ready for a much-needed bath when I left her,” Dorian replied. “Not surprising considering how much she drank last night. Even I didn't know she had it in her to drink that much and I've gotten obnoxiously drunk with her before,” Dorian chuckled before his expression became serious. “But you know how she is sometimes. Briseis also has a lot on her mind, she had that look she gets when she just isn't going to let something go. And we both know giving her the day off doesn't really matter because her mind won't stop working, so I've asked the others to keep her distracted and in her room.”

“You're having them keep her in her room?” Cullen asked.

Dorian folded his arms. “Do you remember when she got that really ugly concussion in the Western Approach and we tried to make her get some rest?” he asked

“She told Lydia that she was going to the gardens and then Cassandra found her in the quartermaster's office helping with requisitions,” the Commander recalled. “I guess you had the right idea. But I'm guessing that's not why you're really here, is it?” Cullen asked, encouraging the mage to continue.

“It isn't. Look, Cullen, I think of you as a friend” Dorian began, “but Briseis is one of the dearest friends that I have. And I appreciate that you weren't a complete ass to her after she chose Solas. But I need to know that you're not going to hurt her.” He scowled at Cullen then. “And make no mistake: if you put her through hell the way that fucking Rift mage did, you won't be a speck of dust in the wind when I'm finished with you. She has been through more than enough.”

Cullen opened his mouth to respond, but before ex-Templar could speak, another voice spoke from the desk. _“Joy when she's with me. Peaceful, content, the chains are quiet around her. Wanted to tell her before, but he stole her heart first,”_ Cole said. He peered at Cullen from underneath his wide-brimmed hat. _“By the Maker, I won't waste it if I have another chance. I'll tell her this time.”_ The boy, now more spirit than before, had spoken the Commander's thoughts aloud, but he wasn't finished. “You really like blueberry jam because it tastes like her.” he said. Cullen rubbed the back of his neck, quite embarrassed by Cole describing the way she tastes to him.

“Well, I guess that answers that,” Dorian mused. He paused. “Wait, blueberry jam, really? And Bull thought she'd taste like pears.”

“She knows how you feel,” Cole continued. “She still hurts, but you make things better. Her song is... warmer with you. You help her like she helps you.” Cullen turned back to Dorian, looking slightly confused. “What does he mean, 'she knows how I feel?',” Cullen asked nervously.

Dorian shrugged, trying to keep his face neutral. _Cole already sort of told him anyway_ , he thought. “Commander, did you know that you sometimes talk in your sleep?” he asked as he eyed the rogue still sitting on the desk. “Apparently you told Briseis that you love her just before Josephine and I came in this morning.” Dorian turned his eyes back to the Commander and had to hold back a laugh when he saw the other man's reaction. He hadn't realized that shade of red existed. “She and I had a rather lengthy conversation about it over breakfast,” he added. “But come on, you didn't think it was really a secret did you? Everyone knows how you feel about her.”

But then the boy at the desk addressed Dorian although his tone was slightly different. “You help her, too. It's why she tells you things.” Cole began humming quietly as he eyed a cabinet across the room. _“I'm not sure how to proceed...”_

Cullen had turned to look back at Cole in surprise, but when he turned again towards the desk, the boy had gone. His attention returned to Dorian. “What was Cole talking about, Dorian?” he demanded.

Dorian held up his hands defensively. “I can't give you specifics because she'd kill me, but I'll at least tell you that you could have a chance with her if you're bold enough to take it,” he said as he exited Cullen's office.

Cullen glanced back at his desk and then exited the left door of his office to get a breath of fresh air while he pondered everything he had just heard. He noticed that it was just starting to get dark outside. The air felt a bit heavy, but it wasn't quite cold enough for snow. He glanced up towards the castle where the Inquisitor's quarters awaited and anxiously rubbed the back of his neck. He _did_ tell the Inquisitor that he would check in with her later. She obviously knew how he felt about her, but he didn't know how _she_ felt. Then he recalled something she'd said while venting to him last night.

 _“More questions than answers,”_ she had said. He returned to his office, thinking of a past game of chess and noting that the set was already sitting on his desk, likely thanks to Cole. After gathering it up under his arm, he swept down the stairs near the Herald's Rest and up into Skyhold to get some answers of his own.

By the time the sun began setting over Skyhold, Briseis was worn out from constant visits by her friends who were obviously trying to keep her busy and in her chambers. Dorian's handiwork, she'd guessed. After her bath, she'd barely had time to brush out her hair and put on her silky dark green nightgown and robe before she received a visit from Blackwall, now going by his true name Thom Rainier, along with Sera, Varric and Iron Bull, who was his usual relaxed self although also still hung over after their drinking contest. During their visit, she remembered that Thom and Sera had both tried to keep up and failed after eight rounds. Varric, while he didn't mention that he had seen the Commander sleeping with her, forwarded Cassandra's apology for not being able to visit, but she was being understandably hampered with Chantry affairs. A year without a Divine had left the Chantry in a bit of chaos.

Shortly after they had departed, Briseis was joined in her room for tea by Leliana, Josephine, and Vivienne. The Spymaster and Ambassador effectively dodged her every question about Inquisition affairs, much to her frustration, while Vivienne informed Briseis that appointments for them with her seamstress and a spa day afterwards had been made and they would leave for Val Royeaux in two weeks. When Briseis tried to protest, the First Enchanter simply held up a finger to silence her. “My dear, just because you're resting at Skyhold for now does not mean you should not look your best at all times. You never know what's going to happen or who's going to show up,” she had said, effectively ending the conversation. The three women departed shortly afterwards, leaving the Inquisitor a bit suspicious.

But now everyone was gone, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She didn't consider herself a brooder, but she had to admit that she was brooding. She laughed at herself being all “broody” as she opened the drapes since there was no more blinding sunlight and she began to pace the length of her room. She shed her robe in frustration, her mind incessantly dwelling on all the questions she had. Corypheus was gone, but she felt there was more bubbling beneath the surface. The Elven orb that created her Anchor, while it was destroyed, had been immensely powerful. How many others like it, if any, still existed? And where were Morrigan and her son? They had disappeared from Skyhold almost immediately after Solas...

_Solas..._

While part of her still loved him, she had accepted that their relationship was over and that he would never come back. Even then, it was still hard for her to think about him. Each time he crossed her mind, she was awash in a mixture of fury and confusion. Fury at how he had hurt her and how she had let him, confusion about all the questions left in his wake. She avoided the thought of what would happen should they come face to face again, but she knew it was likely inevitable considering the answers she sought. _And I WILL get answers... eventually,_ she thought to herself as she plopped down on her sofa, proceeding to stretch her body along its full length _._

Her thoughts then shifted to Cullen and all the moments that had been shared between them before she had made her now obviously errant choice. When he blushed and behaved awkwardly every time she flirted with him. She thought of the genuine fear in his eyes when he thought that she might die after he found her in the snow after Haven. How her heart pounded when he grinned at her after their first kiss...

How close they had come to kissing this morning... and how that wasn't exactly a bad thing to her, even considering...

She thought of the pained expression on his face when she'd come to him and ended their flirtations. She regretted hurting him and would not have blamed him for being angry with her, but being the gentleman he is, Cullen had been kind to her. He simply kissed her hand and wished her the best afterwards and they remained good friends. And that had hurt her the most. She could have taken it if he'd decided to simply have their relationship stay professional, but he really wanted to keep her as a friend.

Worse was that even while she was with Solas, the feelings she'd had for the Commander had never fully gone away. That was her selfishness talking. She knew Cullen deserved to be happy, even if it wasn't with her, but she resolved that she'd give him a real chance if he ever wanted it. “But would he want it now?” she asked herself aloud as she began to doze off.

After a few moments, but not long enough for her to dream, her eyes opened again and she sat up on the sofa, looking towards her balcony. The sky was darkening, and she could see storm clouds. She stood up and began to step outside before she heard the door in the hallway to her quarters being opened, followed by two sets of footsteps. She turned her head slightly towards the sounds and then quickly back towards her balcony. She walked over to her vanity table, quickly running a brush through her hair and sighed as she heard the knock at her door. Creators only knew who this next visitor would be or what they wanted.

When Briseis opened her door, Cullen smiled at her nervously as Lydia, who was also smiling at her, slipped past yet another of the Inquisitor's visitors, this time holding supper on a tray. “Lydia was kind enough to bring my supper up here with yours. I wondered if maybe you would like to talk and play a game afterwards?” he shook the chessboard at her temptingly.

A knot of butterflies formed in her stomach as she returned his nervous smile with one of her own.

“I'd love it,” she replied.


	3. The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen shoots his shot. Dorian comes by for tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait to post this, but I couldn't

Cullen and Briseis lightly discussed, and sometimes laughed about their respective days over a salad, roasted chicken with root vegetables, followed by sponge cake with cream for dessert. Lydia had provided a bottle of red wine for them as well, but the Elven mage resolved to only have one small glass with dinner as she still felt some effects of the drink from the night before. They'd only just finished dining when Lydia had returned to collect the tray, leaving the bottle as she exited the room. Immediately after she left, Cullen began to set up the chessboard as Briseis poured them both another glass of wine. About halfway through their game a couple of hours later and after his having another couple of glasses of wine, the ex-Templar had worked up the courage to move the conversation to a more serious subject.

He watched her biting her lip while contemplating her next move. “I know that you heard me talking in my sleep this morning,” he said, a slight nervousness to his voice.

Her hand stopped and she drew back as she looked up to match his gaze with her own. He could tell the wheels in her head were turning, but he wasn't sure of her reaction as she took as sip of wine and set her glass on the nearby table.

“How do you know that? Did Dorian tell you?” she asked, while deciding to move her knight to take one of his pawns.

Cullen shook his head. “No, actually Cole let it slip,” he replied, absolving the Tevinter mage of any blame. She looked up and nodded with understanding as he briefly redirected his gaze to consider the board. “Dorian _had_ come to speak with me,” he said, “but only to ask me about my intentions.”

“Intentions towards?” she asked, certain that she already knew the answer to her question.

“You,” he returned, moving his bishop to take one of her castles. A slight gust of wind drifted through the room as a flash of lighting flickered from outside.

She looked up at him again to see his eyes staring at her with an intensity that made her feel like her skin was on fire. She leaned back in her chair and glanced towards the balcony as she heard the following thunder in the distance. “Hmm, let me guess,” she asked, her eyes sparkling with amusement, “something about how if you hurt me, he'll get Iron Bull to kick your ass?”

“Actually, he said he'd do it himself,” Cullen responded, grinning at her. Her heart always flutters when he flashes that grin at her. This was no exception.

She laughed. “Well there is a part of me that would actually pay to see Dorian attempt to fight you.” She moved her queen to take one of his knights and glanced to the balcony. She could still feel him watching her and realized that it had suddenly gotten warmer inside her quarters. “Um, can we take a break from the game? I need some air,” she asked, gesturing towards the balcony as she stood up.

He had noticed the faint fragrance of lavender and lilies when he came into her quarters, but it was much stronger as she moved past him onto the balcony and the wind blew through her dark hair. He saw that the nightgown she wore exposed most of her back and grabbed a nearby blanket, which he draped over her shoulders as he joined her outside. She accepted it, her fingers unconsciously brushing his, before she turned to face him and looked up at him curiously. “Well, since we're on the subject, what exactly _are_ your intentions, if they exist?” she asked, wrapping the blanket tighter around her as the temperature outside began to drop. While it was still winter in the mountains, it seemed like Skyhold would get some unexpected rain this night.

Cullen nervously rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath, but she could feel the intensity coming from him. He studied her face and knew this was his chance to put everything on the table in no uncertain terms.

“They exist,” he confessed, tilting her face towards his, trying hard to ignore how his thumb accidentally grazed her full lips in the process. “What you heard this morning was real. But I know that you're still hurting after having your heart broken. I also know I was foolish for just giving up on you without a fight and Maker knows I've tried to move on, but I... can't. I'd be able to move on from the Inquisition, but not from _you_. Whether or not this goes anywhere is up to you, but if I have a chance, I won't make that mistake again. I'm not letting you go this time.”

She's stunned. Her heart started hammering in her chest as Cullen inched closer to her and leaned in towards her ear, letting his stubble brush her cheek as he deliberately brought his thumb back across her smooth lips. She took in a sharp breath while her eyes drifted shut, remembering what it was like being this close to him.

“We can take this as slowly as you like, but I need you to know where I stand,” Cullen softly crooned into her ear, his voice causing the knot of butterflies in her stomach to flutter furiously. She isn't sure if it was the wine, but his voice is becoming more intoxicating to her by the microsecond. Briseis thinks he's thinking about it.

He pulled back to look intensely into her hazel-green eyes as they fluttered back open. He glances at her mouth and then looks back into her eyes. Now she's certain he's thinking about it.

And that she won't make a move to stop it.

“A chess game in the gardens and a kiss on the battlements won't be enough,” he said. _“This,”_ he said, moving his lips to meet hers in a hungry, but tender kiss that she surprisingly found herself returning and _wanting_ more, “won't be enough for me. I'm playing for keeps this time, but thankfully Josephine is not my opponent,” he quipped, trying to break the tension by recalling an embarrassing game of Wicked Grace that ultimately left him naked.

Briseis giggled, still feeling a bit hazy. She brushed her cheek against his, then teased his mouth with her own, remembering how she had once enjoyed the taste of him, as she curled the fingers of her left hand, which held the delicate, bright green shimmering Anchor, into his hair. “You really should be glad of that,” she purred. She gently took his other hand, guiding it to her waist as she lifted herself onto her tiptoes and kissed him.

He chuckled and deepened the kiss as she draped her arms over his shoulders, barely noticing that the blanket he'd just given her had slid off. She breathed in his warm earthy scent as his grip on her waist tightened and he pulled her closer. Her mouth parted slightly, allowing his tongue to dance with hers. They only broke apart when a flash of lightning lit up the sky as large raindrops began to fall around them. He pulled her towards him again, crushing her mouth and body to his as the rain quickly accumulated around them, beginning to drench them both. It was only when she heard one of the Inquisition's messengers banging on her door that Briseis jerked away from him and came out of her haze. “Commander! Word for you from the Lady Nightingale. You're needed in the war room.”

As Briseis read the look on his face, the exact same one he wore when a messenger had interrupted what would have been their very first kiss on the battlements, she already felt badly for this messenger. She grabbed the blanket and stepped back into her bedroom. She opened the door, relieved when she saw that it wasn't Jim again this time, with Cullen coming alongside her, still soaked from the rain outside and wearing a look on his face that often precedes murder. She leaned in and glanced up at him. “Go easy on him,” she pleaded. “He's just doing his job. Shall we go?” she asked.

Cullen looked back down at Briseis and shook his head. “Oh no, Lady Inquisitor. You're staying put because it's still your day off. But don't worry. I'll come for you if we need you.” His face softened briefly as he gave her a quick glance before he turned to start glaring at the messenger who was calling him away from her as he strode from her room.

She leaned up against the doorway to her balcony for several moments after he'd been called away before finally deciding to dry off and change out of her soaked nightgown. The rain was falling steadily outside as she heard her door creaking open again. Anxiety, mixed with a surprising amount of excitement, at the possibility of Cullen returning quickly built up within her only to be just a little let down when she saw that it was Dorian ascending her steps. But if ever there was a time she needed a friend to help her process what just happened between her and the Commander, it was now.

“Looks like you and Cullen had quite the date. Dinner and a game?” he asked with a grin. “The Commander is a lot smoother than I give him credit for, I must admit,” he said as she nodded and he began to consider the board. “You're winning. He'll be doomed if you can bait him into moving his bishop so that your queen can take it.” He poured himself a glass of the remaining wine and positioned himself on the sofa to watch the rain.

She looked at the board realizing that he was correct, although it was still her turn; she'd likely have to sacrifice a pawn if and when she and Cullen resumed their game. She grabbed her still half-full glass and lifted it to her lips. “That bishop isn't the only thing in this room that was about to be taken tonight,” she said taking a sip.

Dorian choked on his wine and turned to her in shock. “You brazen little vixen! Tell me everything!!!!” he demanded.

She shook her head, a serious expression on her face. “We'll get to that. But first, did you see him on his way out?”

Dorian shrugged. “Yes,” he replied. “I also saw Leliana was headed towards the war room as he was exiting the door to your quarters. That poor messenger looked like he's headed for the gallows. And yes, I know a little bit of what it's about, but no, I'm not telling you anything. It's your day off.”

Briseis groaned in frustration. “Fine,” she pouted, taking a seat on the sofa next to Dorian. She set her glass on a nearby table. Dorian turned to read her face. He could tell she was concerned about an emergency meeting being called, but she was thinking about something or someone else. “Now,” he said, “tell me all about the bishop on that chessboard not being the only thing about to be taken.”

She recalled the events starting with Cullen's arrival, but Dorian's eyebrows reached to his perfect hairline when she talked of what Cullen said on the balcony and the kiss that had been shared before the Commander was called away.

Dorian whistled and said, “I'm actually proud of him.” He'd advised Cullen to be bold when he spoke to him earlier, but he hadn't expected _that_ from the Commander. “I didn't know he had it in him.”

“But I'm a little bit glad he got called away, if I'm being honest,” she said, finishing off her glass of wine.

Dorian glanced sideways at her. “Really? Why?” he asked.

She looked towards her friend sitting on the couch staring at her with a bewildered look on his face. “Because I don't know how far it would have gone if he'd stayed, but I don't want to just fall into bed with him to make myself feel better,” she explained. “Cullen deserves better than that, especially considering that he's willing to even give me the time of day after I rejected him for Solas,” she said.

She walked past the sofa and towards her bed. She envisioned lying there with Cullen as he ran his fingers through her dark locks, making her heart skip several beats. There was definitely some lust on her part, but Cullen was worthy of much more than that from the woman he loves. She sat on the bed, looked back at Dorian and sighed. “Cullen deserves to be loved. And I want to do right by him this time.”

The impeccably dressed mage sitting on her sofa nodded in understanding. He drained his glass of wine and set it on the nearby table. He walked towards the bed and examined her face closely. Then he asked the one question that Briseis had been both hoping and dreading to be asked by her friend.

“Well? What about it, Briseis? Could you love Cullen?”Dorian asked.

She took a deep breath and looked into Dorian's concerned grey eyes. “It's entirely too soon,” she replied quietly. “But it's possible. Part of me had already started to fall for him before, but it was outweighed by the part in love with Solas.”

“But now Solas is gone,” Dorian pointed out. “Nothing is standing the way of you giving Cullen a chance.”

“No, there isn't,” she replied, an unexpected yawn escaping her lips as she spoke.

Dorian simply laughed. “My dear, you must be exhausted,” he said. “Let's get you all tucked into bed. You need to get some real sleep and you should take some time to think about what you really want.”

He covered her up in the soft sheets and extinguished the candles around the room with a wave of his hand. Briseis drifted off to sleep even before Dorian had closed her door. That night, instead of the memories from Ostagar or Elvhenan that Solas would show her, she dreamed of her kiss with Cullen... and an early morning ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit short at first, but I ended up adding the next part to it so I could wrap up this part of the series. There will be more of this coming!


End file.
